


A Painful Farewell

by Munnin, yakalskovich



Series: Necessary Pebbles verse [15]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Emotional pain, Last Time, M/M, No seriously this one is a wringer for your feels, So much ouch, farewell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 03:57:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10936509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munnin/pseuds/Munnin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yakalskovich/pseuds/yakalskovich
Summary: After a month of freedom and joy, Bodhi and Galen do their best to enjoy their last night together.





	A Painful Farewell

Packing his things to go was hard. So hard. Not that he had much but... it was the leaving that hurt. 

The last month of his life had been the best he could remember having, burns and all. It hardly mattered. He didn't care about the disfiguring scars. What did they matter, compared to what he got in return: - a month with Galen!

He owed the medic his thanks. He'd been baking and cooking all day, determined to leave Galen with everything he needed. The sweet tart, he took down to the medic before heading back to his room to cook one last meal for Galen before he has to fly away tomorrow.

Unexpectedly, he found Galen in the med department, talking to the medic. 

"... lucid dreams, or insomnia," Galen concluded whatever he was saying. "You might have the data, seeing you more or less monitor all of us?" Then, he spotted Bodhi, and his entire face lit up with the joy of seeing him.

Bodhi's face lit up just as warmly, then turned to worry at the words he caught, hoping Galen was okay. "I brought you this." He said to the medic, offering her the tart. "To say thank you, for everything you've done." For him, for them.

She smiled and accepted the food, "I was just doing my job but I'm always happy to be fed for it." She gave Galen a quick look, letting him know they'd continue the conversation in a moment. Discretion and all that.

"I'm done for the moment," Galen said to Bodhi. "This business isn't getting away from us, so I'll get back to it. Thanks again, for everything you did for us, from me as well. Only I'm sure you're glad that I don't try to bake anything." The last bit was said to the medic.

Bodhi looked apologetic, not meaning to interrupt. "I can come back." He gave Galen a quick look, implying he could meet Galen back in his room.

"If you need anything, let me know," Galen told the medic. "And we do have a bit of time, so no reason to zip back and forth." He stepped back, letting Bodhi say his goodbyes to the woman who saved them both. Then they could go and cook, and say their own goodbyes.

The medic, after a moment’s hesitation, pulled Bodhi aside and whispered something in his ear, giving him a quick squeeze. Bodhi looked a little shocked and nodded, heading wordlessly to the door. The medic gave Galen a wave. "We'll talk later. I'll pull that information together for you."

"Thank you," Galen said, again. He could never thank this miraculously helpful woman enough.

With a fond smile, he followed Bodhi out of the door. He was going to ask what she said, but he looked forward to seeking the results of her presumable advice.

Bodhi walked with him in silence till they were back in Galen's rooms. Bodhi's shoulders were tense, his expression tight and worried. He pulled Galen close and kissed him, slowly and lovingly.

"Bodhi," Galen murmured, pulling him close. "Bodhi. My pilot. My Bodhi."

Bodhi hated this, even if he had known it had been coming for a month. "I have to lift off planet-rise. Till then, I'm yours." And he didn’t want to waste a second.

"Oh, Bodhi!" Galen almost crushed him in his arms before letting go a little, almost apologetically. "Food," he decided. "Love-making. Fresher. And in the morning, I massage that balm into your scars one last time." They would need attention beyond that, but without Galen administering it.

Bodhi’s more than okay with being crushed. He needed the crush. He needed to feel as much contact with Galen as he could. "Yes, I'd like that. I want-" He shook his head. Words were too complicated. "Please, Galen. Just... just don't leave me tonight."

"Not for a moment," Galen said, "except potty breaks. Of course." He still clung, stroking Bodhi's back.

Bodhi chuckled, Galen's silliness breaking his tension. He pulled Galen close and kissed him slowly. "Dinner first?"

"Yes, unless we are overtaken by desire while cooking," Galen said. "Again." He still didn’t quite let go of Bodhi, though.

"Most of it's already done." Bodhi shrugged, colouring a little. "I... I might have gotten a little carried away. I wanted to make it a bit special."

"Oh?" Galen said, sounding hopeful. "Dinner is ready, and then we can -- have each other for dessert?"

"Almost. I just need to dish up and heat up a few things." Bodhi stroked Galen's cheek. "I'd like that, very much. I hope it's not too presumptuous but I cooked a Jedhean traditional meal."

"Why should it be presumptuous?" Galen said, quietly shaking his head. "I am glad you share that tradition with me. We are one in the Force, Bodhi: - whatever is important to one of us is important to the other."

Bodhi ducked his head, blushing warmly, unsure how to answer. When he did respond, it's a deflection. "I wasn't sure what the traditions were for Lah'mu. And as far as I can tell, Eadu's traditional dish is freeze-dried vegetables boiled indistinguishably yellow."

"Lah'mu was just a place where we settled for some time," Galen said. "I am from Grange, and have spent much of my adult life on various worlds that were never mine as such. I am happy to share your Jedhean traditions."

Bodhi drew Galen close and kissed him slowly. "We'll find a world. We're start our own traditions." He gestured to the next room where a low table had been set. "Why don't you get change into something more relaxed and I'll get everything ready?"

Galen nodded. "Not a uniform, for once," he said. "That will be the right start towards just being ourselves."

"No uniforms." Bodhi nodded, kissing him again before heading towards the kitchen. "No Empire. No duty. Just... us." 

The table was spread with a Jedhean woven cloth, one of the few things Bodhi kept from home.

Galen returned soon as well, wearing a comfortable pair of pants, and a sweater into which a pattern has been knitted in scarlet yarn. He sat at the table, slouching comfortably; this isn't the first time he sat like this. "Tell me about the cloth."

"It was one of the few things I brought with me from my grandmother's house when she passed away. We didn't have much, nothing impractical. But this was hers." Bodhi shrugged as he started bringing dishes over.

Lots of little bowls, small serves of several different dishes. He rather went all out.

"It's a beautiful tablecloth," Galen said, "and it makes me feel welcome, and told me to settle down and enjoy the food." He smiled and leant towards the table, trying to tell all the enticing scents apart.

"You are welcome. I want us," Boshi hesitated. "I want us to make a home together." He kissed the top of Galen's head as he brought over the last of the bowls and a large plate of flatbread.

"Yes, of course," Galen said, because what else was the point, "and that tablecloth will have a pride of place in there, and welcome whoever wants to see us to our table."

If you are in love, living together is part of the end game.

Bodhi sat down next to Galen, pouring a glass of water for each of them. Water was an important part of a Jedhean meal. It was the most precious commodity on Jedha. "It doubles as a rug, or a blanket depending on need." He shrugged shyly, offering Galen the glass and letting him drink first. "Ever pragmatic."

"If people have little, each possession has to serve several purposes," Galen said, picking up his water and drinking from it.

"Nothing wasted in what can be used." Bodhi mused, sipping his own water. It always tasted strange to him, the way the Empire treats water. Filtered and flat and flavourless. Plentiful and taken for granted because of it. 

He gently nudged a bowl towards Galen, tearing off a piece of steaming flatbread. "Help yourself." There were very few utensils. A meal like this was intimate, sharing plates and eating from fingers and bread. "And I won't be offended if there's something you don't like. I cooked a bit of everything."

"And I will try a bit of anything," Galen said, "then you know afterwards what I don't like, for the next time." Because there would be a next time, and a next, and a next. He tore off a piece of bread and dipped it in the bowl.

Boundless hope. It helped Bodhi, more than was was willing to admit. There were shadows around his heart; deep fears that this might be their last meal together. He tried to hide it as he scooped up a piece of slow roasted meat. "Doesn't hurt to know where I need to expand your palate." It almost managed to come off teasingly.

"Oh, will you?" Galen teased back. "What is the red bit? It's very good." Boundless hope, yes, and trust in the Force. They weren’t not done yet.

"Acid-beet dip. They can't be eaten without being soaked in milk and then slow-roasted." Bodhi smiled, quite proud of his acid-beet dip. "Most people only ever use them as food for livestock because it's too much work to make them edible."

Galen dipped his bread into the dip again, and ate. "It's worth all the effort."

Bodhi smiled and gave a little bow. "It's one of my proudest creations." He pulled over a bowl of a creamy curry, the surface floating with spots of dark orange oil, ladling some of it into a smaller bowl. "Try this. It has a sweet taste but a spicy kick."

Galen dipped the bread into the curry, eats, smiled, and then gasped a little at a kick. "That is amazing!"

Bodhi laughed warmly, starting to relax properly. "The trick is in balancing the flavours. Too much white chilli oil and the burn is unbearable but too much Scarif-nut milk and it's too bland. Without the white chilli, it's a good soup for nursing someone when they're sick."

"Which I haven't been for ages," Galen said, "but aren't afraid of, if that is what I will get if I am." Because sickness, in future, will happen at the home he would share with Bodhi.

"Not a big surprise, given the medical care here. But if we wind up on a frontier world and you need it, I'll make it gladly. As long as we can get Scarif-nut milk."

"I think that can easily be freeze-dried and rehydrated," Galen said, "or sealed into a pack."

"That's how I usually get it. I was so happy to find a fresh one in the last food shipment. I don't think I've cooked with fresh nut milk in years. I even made a desert from it."

"An actual dessert before the other dessert?" Galen said, smiling as he dipped the bread into the next bowl, this one with some green, oily sauce.

Bodhi gave him a playful grin. "A dessert that might be enjoyed with dessert." He helped himself to more bread, using it to scoop up some curried vegetables.

"Every bit of this is already delightful," Galen declared, crunching some fresh green vegetables with a pale, spicy cool sauce.

There's something... perfect about watching Galen eat. His delight at trying new things, the intimacy of sharing every dish, every flavour. Bodhi couldn't help himself, he leaned over and pulled Galen into a soft, sweet kiss. The kiss of family and long lasting love rather than cheap, fast passion. Galen tasted, strangely, of home -- of all the spices for sale in the markets of NiJedha, of bread and oils and that hint of sweetness some of the dishes had. Galen kissed Bodhi back, then touched the tip of his nose to Bodhi's.

The little touch of noses was somehow sweeter than the kiss. The taste of home just makes it perfect. Bodhi looked into Galen's eyes, feeling his breathing deepen. "I love you." Those words almost sounded too shallow, too trite. Because they weren’t enough.

"I know," Galen said, with the happiness of somebody who had finally found a home again, after years on the streets, in the lowest levels of some teeming city-planet. "And I love you!"

Bodhi rested his forehead against Galen's, trying to keep the swell of emotion from overwhelming him. Only it should, shouldn't it? Unsure what he should think, he just let himself feel, drawing Galen into another sweet kiss. That's why it was called falling in love, after all.

Galen reached over to stroke the back of Bodhi's neck, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. How could Bodhi leave, now that they’d found this? But how could he stay and keep them both safe? He looked back into Galen's eyes, trying to clear his doubts and fears away and stay in this moment.

"You are brave," Galen whispered, "you know to follow your heart and make things right, and you will."

"We both will." Bodhi knew how heavily this project weighed on Galen's conscience. "Together and apart."

"So we can be together in the end," Galen whispered.

"Together and free. Somewhere safe and beautiful. Somewhere we can start again." Galen was all Bodhi could ever hope for. His deepest desire. Just to fall asleep in Galen's arms.

"Well," Galen said, "it might be an unsafe and scruffy world, like Lah'mu, which we could make safe and beautiful to fit our needs. That would also work."

"If it's a chance, I'll take it. If it means being with you." Bodhi laughed softly. "I'd go back to the slums of Jedha if we could be together."

"I am sure all of Jedha could be beautiful if people weren't suffering the way they are now," Galen said. _Under the thumb of the Empire_ , he didn’t say.

But Bodhi heard it all the same. "We could help heal the wounds left..." by the Empire's rape of the Holy City.

"Yes, that will take a lot of work, but so worth it," Galen murmured. "I remember it, what it was like before -- when I was there with Lyra.”

"I wish I could see it, the way you did." Bodhi leant back, his arm still resting on Galen's hip, still touching.

"It was a strange new place for me, where all the faithful from the Galaxy mixed and mingled, and the inhabitants themselves just fatalistically put up with so much life teeming on their doorstep," Galen said. "There was this special brotherhood of pilgrims who tried to erase all their individuality and as a result became hype-visible, tall figures with cube-like hats under their long red robes that covered absolutely everything. So much red everywhere, as a symbol of faith -- Lyra took to wearing a red sash with her usual clothes, too, as a sign of her faith. I never did. I only understood -- later, that she had been right."

"The Beatific Countenances." Bodhi nodded. "I remember them. My older brothers use to tell stories about there being monsters behind those robes. The sort of stories you tell little brothers to scare them." 

At mention of Lyra, Bodhi cocked his head, listening. "I didn't know Lyra wore the red. It was so common on Jedha. It didn't realise how much of it I was use to seeing till I got off-world. It's a strange thing to realise, how much of your sight was one colour."

"Yellow sand and stone, and red robes of all shades -- but much of it that vibrant scarlet," Galen said. "And yes, she did. It didn't change anything between us, didn't demand any practice of her that would put a stress on what we were as a family; it just expressed the faith she already had."

Pause.

"Almost funny, that I'm the one to work scientifically with Kyber while she had the faith in all its traditions."

Another pause, and then Galen grinned suddenly, impishly.

"Also, the display of faith pissed off the Imperials we had to deal with all the time. A very meek and pious, but very strong and visible, middle finger to the entire system that tried to subsume us."

And to Krennic, first and foremost. Lyra had seen through him so much sooner than Galen had…

"Something that can't be outlawed as a fashion statement. But at the same time, yells out rebelliously." Bodhi grinned. "I never thought of it that way."

"The Empire needs to suppress the faith, to properly exploit the Kyber and impose order," Galen said. "Anybody might hide under those robes of the Beatific Countenances, after all."

"Tear down the temple, mine its treasures. Turn its keepers out into the streets," Bodhi muttered bitterly. "Then there is no reason to make the pilgrimage. And anyone who does, you can treat as a suspect."

"But people still come." A statement, not a question.

"I hope they always will. Without them, living Jedha will die. It will go back to the sand and the stone. And dead as the Jedi in the desert."

"Not a city that merely endures diverse pilgrims, a city that drew its very life from the whole galaxy coming to it on pilgrimage," Galen nodded.

Bodhi turned back to the table and the feast of Jedhean flavours, a testament to its diversity of influences. He pulled over a bowl of warm red nuts, coated with a sweet glaze. "While people come, there's hope." And much as he hadn’t had the best childhood in Jedha, didn’t mean Bodhi wanted to see the place whither. It was still home, in a way.

Galen reached out and stole a nut from the bowl. "And they will always come, even after the Empire..."

Bodhi handed over the bowl gladly. After all, it's all for Galen and all to share. _After the Empire_. That's the dream, wasn’t it. A time after fear. After pain. 

Bodhi helped himself to another dish, finishing a few things off as they start to cool. "Let me know when you're ready for dessert."

Galen scanned the table for things he hasn't tried yet. "Erm, in a bit?"

Bodhi shuffled the dishes, pulling things closer to Galen that he hadn’t tried yet. "Dessert will keep." For later, for after they've digested and maybe found other things to enjoy. He tried not to think about the time ticking away before he had to fly out. They still had most of the night but he could almost feel the seconds slip between his fingers.

"Bodhi," Galen said. He captured one of Bodhi's hands as he moved those dishes, and lifted it to his mouth to kiss the skinny knuckles.

It's one of those heart stoppingly beautiful things Galen did that just hit Bodhi like a rock. He looked into Galen's blood-warm eyes, aching inside. "Galen." It came out as a breathless sigh.

"All yours," Galen promised.

Bodhi kissed Galen again. Because it's easier than trying to talk. Easier than trying to wrap words around a feeling too big for words. "I don't want this to end." He was so afraid.

"We will never end," Galen promised him. "Even when we are long dead, our part of the pattern in the Force will remain. As will Lyra's and mine, odd as that sounds -- me loving her, and me loving you, is not a contradiction. It is both as necessary as an atmosphere."

"I've never felt jealous of Lyra. Or Jyn. They're a part of who you are. I just hope when we find Jyn, she'll feel the same about me."

"Yes," Galen breathed. "Oh yes, I hope so too. I hope to see you be friends."

Bodhi wanted that too. Because he wanted a future where Galen was happy and whole. And free. He smiled and stole another kiss. "Help me clean up. I think I need to hold you for a while."

"That will be a bit awkward, while cleaning up," Galen said, not letting go of him. The quality of his jokes had not improving.

Bodhi laughed anyway and bumped his forehead against Galen's. "You know what I mean. I can't lay down with you till the table's cleared."

"If that is so," Galen said, "then let's count to three, let go, clear up as soon as possible so we can touch again."

"Three." Bodhi announced, kissing Galen sloppily and racing to stack and pack away the dishes. He moved in a playful fury, throwing leftovers that go well together into bowls so Galen had food for later. He moved like a purposeful hurricane.

"What can I do to help?" Galen asked, but then, he just got out of the way and stared. He never knew that cleaning up could be a dance.

It is the way Bodhi did it, especially when he was in a hurry to get done. "Pass me the covering wrap?" He covered the bowls and stacked them into the cold store.

Whenever Bodhi asked for anything, Galen hurried to provide it, but he felt clumsy and graceless in comparison to Bodhi.

Food packed and tidied, and dishes stacked in the sink, Bodhi grabbed Galen and kissed him deeply. "Now, you're mine."

"I am anyway," Galen murmured, kissing back just as deeply.

Bodhi smiled between kisses, arms tightening around Galen's waist. "Come to bed with me?"

"Oh yes," Galen sighed, already taking stepped backwards towards toward the bed.

Bodhi moved with him, kissing him all the way. He slipped hands under Galen's clothes, needing to feel skin. Needing to feel the warm, living Galen under the fabric.

"My Bodhi," he gasped, shivering with pleasure at the warm touch of skin on skin.

"Yours. Yours and no others." It's a promise, sealed with a kiss. A kiss that wanders down Galen's throat as he pulled away Galen's shirt.

Galen took another step back towards the bed, hit the frame with a calf, and then stumbled graceless onto it, pulling Bodhi with him. "Here," he half-laughed, half-groaned, "here I am -- come here to me."

Bodhi went down with him, laughing. He wrapped his arms around Galen, pulling him close and kissing him soundly. He tugged at Galen's clothes, trying to wiggle out of his own. Neither of them were scoring high on the grace stakes. But who cared.

"Bodhi," Galen gasped. He was trying to kick something off his foot -- shoe, or sock, and wriggling his knee about right between Bodhi's thighs.

Bodhi laughed again and ran a hand down Galen's leg, pushing off shoes and socks. He stroked back up Galen's thigh, cupping his waist.

Galen gave a sharp gasp, almost a whine, and pushed himself up into Bodhi's touch.

Bodhi kissed him deeply, sliding his hand over the flat of Galen's stomach, easing down his trousers. "I wish I had the patience. To take this slow. But I want you so much."

"Don't wait!" Galen almost barked, desire getting the better of him.

Bodhi fumbled with the lube from the nightstand, shimming out of his own pants. He slicked his fingers, slipping his hand between Galen's thighs, teasing him open with swift but careful strokes.

Galen spreaded himself, gasping and eager. Bodhi kissed him, nuzzles his throat as he pulled Galen close. He slicked himself, pulling Galen to lay on top of him. Galen followed the motion, leaning down to kiss Bodhi while he rounded his back and reached for him, behind his own buttocks. Bodhi returned the kissed, letting Galen take him in, letting him set the pace. At least to begin. Slowly, Galen sunk down on him, with a deep, pleased sigh.

Bodhi moaned, looking up at Galen with wide, longing eyes. He licked his lips, pushing up to meet Galen before pulling him down into a kiss. "Galen. My Galen."

"All yours," Galen sighed, lifting his hips again before once more sinking down.

Stars! It felt so good, so right. Bodhi moaned with every thrust. He tried to keep his grip in Galen's waist light and his thrust shallow. But it wasn’t long before he was thrusting up to meet Galen, who moved faster, groaning, gasping Bodhi's name as he did.

Bodhi reached up and took Galen's hands, twining their fingers and drawing Galen down into a kiss, pressing their joined hands to the pillows. Galen bent his head further and kissed Bodhi's throat. Bodhi moaned and tilted his head back, eyes heavy with passion and throat exposed to Galen, whon kissed and nibbled his way downwards while moving his hips with Bodhi's moans.

"Galen." Bodhi whimpered, tangling their fingers tighter as he arched into every thrust. "My Galen!"

"Yours," Galen murmured against the dip between Bodhi's collarbones.

Bodhi released their hands to cup Galen's hips, rolling them over, pinning Galen beneath him. He kissed the slope of Galen's neck, thrusting deeper and harder.

"Oh yes, Bodhi," Galen growled, "have me!"

Bodhi kissed him wildly and gave himself over to the warmth and desire he felt, angling his thrusts to bring Galen as much pleasure as he could. Galen closed his legs around Bodhi's hip demandingly, and moaned with every thrust. And he got what he wanted. What they both wanted. Bodhi looked deep into those stunning eyes as he rode them both to the edge, gasping with every thrust. Galen's eyes stayed open, looking right into Bodhi's as he snapped up his hips again, and again, and again towards Bodhi. Bodhi moaned Galen's name, too close to the edge to form any word than that. His breath caught as he lost control. "Galen!"

"Yes!!"

Bodhi rode the high, never breaking eye contact with Galen. He thrust deeply, and Galen, feeling the heat fill him from the inside, groaned sharply as he came as well, throwing his head back as the pleasure overtook him in a great wave, tensing up his entire body until he was all wrung out, and subsides back onto the bed, holding Bodhi as close as he could.

Bodhi smiled, warm and full of love. He carefully withdrew and lay at Galen's side, pulling him into a tight hug as they both came down. Galen pulled him near, sweaty and sticky and completely satisfied and utterly unable to speak. Close and warm and not moving for the moment. Bodhi smiled, stroking Galen's cheek, his hair. Nothing but happiness here. Nothing but love. He had no plans on moving either. Just... living in this moment. Memorising every line of Galen's face with such intensity.

Galen didn’t quite close his eyes, squinting dozily at Bodhi. "I love you," he finally murmured. "Come back soon."

"As soon as I can. I don't think I could live without you. Not any more." Bodhi confessed softly.

"And I don't want you to," Galen said, "especially as I feel I can't live without you, either."

Bodhi smiled. "I'm glad. That we both-" he shook his head and kissed Galen. "We just have to find a way. A way to do what has to be done and to get out safely."

"Yes, we will find that," Galen said. "We will have to be ready."

"I get a new ship tomorrow. We'll have wings again. Your pilot, waiting for your directions."

"My pilot," Galen said, softly.

"Now." Bodhi kissed Galen softly. "Always."

"Always," Galen echoed.

Bodhi fought the warm, heavy lethargy. He didn’t want waste a moment of being with Galen. He brushed a hand over Galen's cheek, smiling softly. Galen opened his eyes and turned his head, just a little, to smile at Bodhi. Hard not to fall asleep, yes. It really was. And Bodhi was fighting it too. But he's losing. At least he had an alarm set. Just in case. Long enough to make his farewells before he had to take off.

In the very small hours, in the middle of the night, Galen woke up, a warm and pliant Bodhi snoring softly in his arms, and found he couldn’t seem to fall asleep again, and fell to thinking; and once his brain started properly, he found that he was wide awake. After half an hour of speculative wandering up and down the branches of possible futures, Galen very gently disentangled himself from Bodhi's limbs, sat up, and started finding parts of his uniform to put on.

Bodhi grumbled but didn’t wake, muttering Galen's name as he rolled over to hug the pillow. Galen finished getting dressed, then walked over to his small workstation and got a holorecorder out of a drawer, with which he betook himself to the fresher. When he came back out, he took a small data card out of the recorder and set the device to wipe itself, then sat on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes, then fumbled with his collar in the dark.

Bodhi half stirred, reaching for Galen. "It's not time." He slurred sleepily. "Don't leave me yet."

"I won't," Galen promised. "I am just getting back to bed." He got rid of the uniform tunic, and turned to bend and kiss Bodhi.

Bodhi returned the kiss and pulled Galen back under the covers. But he didn’t go back to sleep at once. Instead rested his hand over Galen's heart, feeling it beat. Good thing Galen hadn't bothered putting on shoes for the recording. He laid down beside Bodhi quite willingly, gathered him close, and buried his nose in the messy, long dark curls on the top of Bodhi's head.

"Your heart is racing?" Bodhi murmured, sleepily rubbing Galen's chest.

"Yes," Galen said softly. "I made something."

Bodhi opened his eyes properly, looking up at Galen. "Is everything alright?"

"I hope so," Galen said quietly.

Bodhi frowned and kissed Galen softly. "Tell me?" It was a question, asked hopefully. He knew there was a lot Galen couldn’t say.

"A message for my daughter, for you to take just in case," Galen murmured into the kiss.

Bodhi nodded and settled back to lay next to Galen. If Galen had a message for his daughter, Bodhi wouldn't ask what's in it. That was between Galen and Jyn. "I'll get it to Saw Gerrera. If the time comes." He promised, curling back around Galen.

"Just so," Galen said, gathering him close.

Bodhi went into his arms gladly, breathing in Galen's scent. "Sleep a little longer. Just... don't go yet."

"I'm not going anywhere," Galen said, holding him while he stared into the dark.

Bodhi glanced at the crono. "We have another couple of hours before I have to get ready." He hugged Galen close. "And I need to hold you."

"I need to hold you as well," Galen said. "I don't want to let you go before I absolutely have to."

Bodhi rested his ear over Galen's heart and let the sound of it sooth him back to sleep. 

Those hour passed too fast and too soon Bodhi’s alarms started to beep. Galen, woken from a dream where he had been walking along a lovely beach with pink skies with a vague number of people he loved, picking Kyber crystals from the warm sparkling sand, woke up with a groan and a grumble at the insistent noise.

Bodhi, on the other hand, was wide awake as soon as it went off. Pilot's instincts. The faster you to came to, the less sleep you wasted. He turned off the alarm and hugged Galen close. "I'm sorry, it's time."

"Coming," Galen said, pulling himself to wakefulness. The realisation that Bodhi would have to leave now shot into his veins like ice water.

"Just-" Bodhi held Galen for a long moment, drinking him in. Memorising every curve and line of Galen's face. Every moment he wore in his weathered features. "I love you. No matter what happens from this moment. Please never forget."

"Never," Galen promised. "My Bodhi."

"My Galen." Bodhi kissed Galen deep and slow before getting up to get dressed, rather hurriedly.

Galen got dressed as well, wanting to see Bodhi off. Silently, he offered Bodhi a small data chip. Bodhi nodded and took the data chip, tucking it into the little pocket in the inside edge of his boot. He straightened up and nodded stoically. But it showed in his eyes, how much this hurts. 

Bodhi had time for caf but he'd rather spend it with Galen. Holding the man he loved mattered more. He pulled Galen close and hugged him. He didn’t know what to say. Words were too hard. Always have been.

Galen hugged him close, leaning his face into Bodhi's lovely, messy dark hair one last time.

Bodhi held him. Just held him. "I love you. I'll come back for you. As soon as I can."

"I know, and I know, and I know," Galen whispered, "and I love you as much, and will forever."

Bodhi kissed Galen, trying to hold back tears. "In a safer galaxy, we'll be together."

"In a safer spot, in this same galaxy," Galen said. "It will always be a dangerous world."

"But we'll be safer together." Bodhi promised, stealing another kiss. His hands were shaking just a little, his emotions barely kept from spilling over.

"We will be."

Bodhi nodded and stepped back, his hands still resting on Galen's hips. "I'd ask you to walk me to the ship but... there will be other crew around." They had to keep this secret, even now.

"I'll follow you out after a little bit," Galen promised, "so you can see me as you leave."

Bodhi smiled softly. "The little pebbles." He hugged Galen again. "I have to go."

"You do," Galen said, standing back, even though it felt like his heart was being shredded by the movement.

Bodhi’s bag was already packed and waiting by the door. He picked it up slowly, dropping it to hugging Galen passionately. Fighting tears, he picked the bag up again and headed for the door.

It was such a long walk to the landing pad, even with Galen at his side. There were too many people around and the distance between them felt like the black gulf of space. Galen wandered along casually, feeling his heart bleed. People knew that he'd become friends with the pilot, and other people might guess that he's having an affair with him. Namely, Orson Krennic, from his regular reports about Eadu and Galen. Galen pictured Krennic sniggering and overlooking just how deep this went.

Bodhi focused on the hallway ahead of him, feeling the warmth of Galen's body. The medic leaned on the doorway of her office, watching them pass. She offered them both a smile and touched her forelock in salute. 

There was a moment of silence and privacy just before they stepped out onto the pouring Eadu rain. Bodhi paused there, reaching back to squeeze Galen's hand. "Pebbles." He whispered.

"Necessary as the stars," Galen whispered back, squeezing his pilot's fingers before letting go and following him out.

Bodhi walked towards the ship, head held high and water flowing down his face, catching in the back of his goggles. The crew called out to him, waving. Clearly keen to get going. 

Bodhi waved back, stowing his bag just inside the hatch. He turned back to Galen, his face a mask of professionalism. "Chief Erso." He nodded politely.

"Pilot Rook," Galen said. "Thank you ever so much for all you've done for us here. Have a safe flight -- and may the Force of Others be with you." He didn't mind that some of the people around him would raise their eyebrows at that. While the absolute truth, it was also yet another smokescreen.

Bodhi couldn’t help but smile at that. "May the Force of Others be with you." He echoed, stepping through the hatch as someone on the crew yelled at him to hurry up, but he didn’t drop his eyes till the hatch was completely closed and the ship was pulling away.

Galen stood in the thickening drizzle until the ship was out of sight.

Bodhi sat down as they broke atmosphere, strapping himself into a seat, ignoring the ribbing from the rest of the crew. It had become an open secret that the Chief was boning the young pilot. And some of the comments were downright insulting but Bodhi ignored them all.

He'd have his own ship. He had the message. They'd make it.


End file.
